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 Subject: Apocalypse Tip #6 - A successful Zombie is a happy Zombie.

Wolfenshire opened this issue on Jan 16, 2021 · 1 posts

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  Wolfenshire    ( ) ( posted at 8:33PM Sat, 16 January 2021 · edited on 6:45AM Sun, 17 January 2021

Apocalypse Tip #6 – We need to discuss survival; and not just survival to stay alive as the Zombie Apocalypse ramps up, but also survival once you’ve been Zombiefied. Because, let’s face it, you’re outnumbered a couple million to one. Sure, you can weigh yourself down with tents and sleeping bags, freeze-dried food and ammunition, or you can prepare for your eventual life as a Zombie. The first thing you’re going to need is a backpack. Fill that backpack with Snickers Bars and Red Bull. You probably don’t need much more than that, you’ll be a Zombie soon. So, why the Snickers Bars and Red Bull? Well, you’ve got a lot of Zombies to try and outrun, and the Snickers and Red Bull will give you the energy to keep running, but there’s also much more those treasured treats are going to do for you. You’ll also need to have a T-shirt made that reads: ‘I’ve got Snickers and Red Bull in my backpack.’ Tuck that T-Shirt away for later. Once you finally get bit, you won’t have long until you turn, so be quick. The first thing you need to do after being bit is to hide. You don’t want to get chewed up and be a Zombie without arms and legs – so hide, and stay in one piece! A Zombie with both arms and legs is a successful Zombie with a bright future. Now, change into your special Snickers and Red Bull T-Shirt, make sure your backpack is well secured on your back; a wraparound backpack belt will do this nicely. Once you’ve been Zombiefied, you’ll crawl out of hiding and join the rest of the ravenous hungry-for-brains Zombies. But, all the non-Zombiefied people are going to be running away from you. So, how to make sure you’ll always find a meal? Well, this is where the Snickers and Red Bull T-shirt comes into play. The non-Zombiefied people will see the T-Shirt and say, ‘Hey, I think that Zombie has a backpack full of Snickers and Red Bull.’ The non-Zombiefied people will be hungry too and get lured into trying to get your backpack. And there you have it, a steady supply of brains for Zombie fine dining. Good Luck and enjoy your success as a Zombie.

Wolfenshire, Moderator - Writers, Gimp, Digital Comics

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